


Revival

by mylastdesire



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 17:45:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12017871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylastdesire/pseuds/mylastdesire
Summary: A story of loss, heartache, and revival. Lexa's world is turned upside down, will she ever learn to love again?





	Revival

It’s just me left standing here. Me and me alone. The one person I always fall back on isn’t here anymore. Not when I need her the most. But that doesn’t make sense does it?

I must have been standing here for hours. It’s dark now and I can hear the thunder getting louder. The storm is getting closer. How fitting. 

I don’t look up from the ground as I hear someone approaching. I don’t look up when I see a silhouette of a man coming my way as the lighting brightens up the sky. 

I expected this. I expected someone to come looking for me. I expected them to wonder why I’m not home yet. 

_Predictable._

As soon as the man stands in front of me, the sky opens up. Rain pelting hard against our bodies. Neither one of us seem to care. I slowly lift my head to look at him as he reaches his hand out for me to take. 

His face is soft. He has a look of sadness and understanding. But how can he? He will never understand. Nobody will ever understand. 

I stare at him for long seconds. Minutes even. He just stands patiently, never once turning his gaze away from mine. 

“I know Lex, I know” he says softly over the sound of the impending storm. 

I shake my head slowly at him. My gaze returning to the ground below me. To the grave below me. I close my eyes tightly and shake my head harder at him. Tears making their way out of my eyes and down my already wet face. 

“No. You will never know” I said coldly as I squatted down and put both hands on the tombstone in front of me. I shakily drew a breath in and leaned forward to gently place my lips on the cold, wet surface.

 _Until next time, sweetheart._

I choked back a sob as I stood up, turning back to the man beside me. I looked in his eyes and saw unshed tears, his hand reaching out again for me to grab. 

I took his hand in mine and slowly started walking out of the cemetery. The rain seemingly pouring down harder than before. I didn’t look back. I couldn’t. 

I wanted to turn the days back and take it all back. If I could somehow change something. Anything. It could have been different. I was walking into oblivion. 

I was walking into a new life that might take me a while to grasp. I needed to wake up from this horrible nightmare. This couldn’t be real life, could it? Was this really happening?

_Yes. It was really happening._

_Seconds._

That’s all it took to make my world come crashing down around me. 

I have to say goodbye. I don’t want to. God, I don’t want to ever say goodbye. I stopped walking just as we got to the entrance gate and he stopped with me. I still didn’t turn back. Instead, I turned my head to the sky, closed my eyes and took a deep, calming breath. 

_Goodbye, my love._

**

I don’t remember the drive home. But I knew everyone would be at the house. Not that I care. I’m actually kind of glad for it. I’m not ready to be alone, but I’m not ready to have company either. Not if it’s not her. 

I got out of the car silently, slowly walking to the front door. Chatter can be heard from the people inside. The man beside me rubbed my back reassuringly as he stood silently next to me. 

“Thank you, Lincoln” I whispered softly to him before opening the door to a newfound silence. I searched the living room before my eyes landed on my sister. She was standing by the fireplace.

I walked towards her and threw my arms around her neck in a tight embrace as new tears started in my eyes. Her hands encircled my waist just as tightly. She didn’t seem to care that I was soaking wet and cold. She just held me. 

“Everything will be okay, Lex, I promise” she whispered lovingly in my ear as she rubbed my back. 

I just nodded my head at her and pulled back, wiping my tears angrily. 

“I’m sorry, I just…” I trailed off, looking to the floor and shivering. Not because I was cold. Because I felt the emptiness that now resided in my heart. 

“Hey, hey, hey, shhh. You don’t need to be apologizing for anything. We are all here for you, sweetie. You know that. It’s hard for us too” she whispered sadly. I looked at her and noticed she was crying. 

I silently looked at the other people in the room and noticed they were all crying as well. 

_Fuck._

How selfish am I?

I’m not the only one that lost her. How could I forget that? Even for a second?

“You are all welcome to stay. You know where everything is” I stated softly, stepping back from Anya and heading towards my bedroom. 

_My bedroom._

I was suddenly grateful that we didn’t live together. I was grateful that this wasn’t where she took her last breath. That this wasn’t the last place I got to hold her or the last place I got to kiss her. 

I took a shuddering breath and closed my eyes as a sob escaped my throat. We may not have lived together, but we shared so many memories over the last two years in this house. In this bedroom. 

_My bedroom._

I stood in the doorway and looked around. Pictures of us scattered around the room. Memories we made together. I found it harder and harder to breathe as I stood there. Everything suddenly becoming a blur as I walked fully into my room, shutting the door loudly behind me, and I started to hastily rip my cold, wet clothes from my body. 

I didn’t even bother to get dressed. I just crawled into my bed, naked and cold and hugged the pillow she used to sleep on when she stayed over and I cried. I cried so hard and for so long. Until I couldn’t cry anymore. I cried for the memories I had of her. Of us. I cried for the memories I will make without her. But most of all I cried because she was gone. 

_Gone._

She was gone and she was never coming back. 

Costia was never coming back and my heart was _shattered._  
__________________________________________________________________________________________


End file.
